Christmas.... Ha ha... wonderful. | lysanderfremont's Blog
Yup. It's that time of year again!
Two years ago, I was in a place where I was neither surrounded by those that loved me, and the one that I did love the most at the time, strangled my heart, placed it in a trash compactor, and threw flaming ping pong balls(With rusty spikes in them) at it for target practice... that was my birthday and Christmas. And New Years. Yay.
One year ago, I was home, with my Mom and Dad, visited with my friends, made a mistake that I was trying to make up for with my LDR Girlfriend (Who was awesome by the way), and even though it wasn't full of partying or kisses under the Mistletoe, but with family, my cat who I helped raise as a kitten, and again, enjoying the time I got to spend with friends.
This year, I'm in my apartment, about to meet up with lost relatives, alone, my relationship having ended, my friends and family so far, most of them are all having a grand ol' time this year. Though I'm unable to be with them, and even though my own Spirit is kind of piled up with grief, pain, but also Hope... I'd say this year is like the Revenge of the Sith compared to last year's Phantom's Menace to two years ago's, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
In other words, I need to go back to what the Original Trilogy had.
It's tough. One minute, I'm thinking I would be able to have this grand festive time with that one person that'd be just excellent in all the right ways (and even wrong, hell, there'd be uncomfortable stances)... and then it's all gone.
"So maybe she's reading this", you the reader may say. "Would your Christmas and New Years be better if you were able to talk to her"?
It wouldn't. She knows it, I know it. Though our Hearts may say different. And in some twisted grand paradox of the Universe... it's better this way.
As I've told her... maybe in a few months, years... when we both have grown and gotten to where we want or need to be, maybe the Universe will have us meet again. Maybe I'll save her from a collapsing bridge, I don't know. She'll save me from an evil Government experiment because all of a sudden I have mutant powers that rival that of all the X-Men combined, I don't know.
If there is one X-Men reference I can fall back on... okay, maybe not exactly X-Men but more mythical proportions, is the Phoenix. I had a dream about it a few days ago. It was a baby. Maybe... it was me. As the days go on, I feel a bit changed in many ways, but still ruminating about why the Change happened. Maybe cause it is so amazing, I'm just trying to understand it all at once?
Ha ha ha ha... no. I'm just depressed. Or something. I don't know. I'm figuring myself out right now.
Well, my Spirit self wouldn't have put this in front of me if I couldn't handle it. Boy, am I handling it.
For those that are alone this Christmas, I say onto you that this day shall pass, just like any other day. That you will be surrounded by those who love you and who you love. It will be a grand day when that happens and I'll tell you what, that day will come like sweet Wine because it'll just be appreciated that much more. It'll be worth it.
For those that are in the company of loved ones, friends, family, and pets... You so better be appreciative of what you have. You have no IDEA how fortunate you are and if my karmic friends hear any of you complaining about something or someone during this time of year.... Oh hohoho... you better believe Karma will smack you over the head because I'm unable to.
So have a Jolly Christmas everyone. See you next year.
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Previous PostsChristmas.... Ha ha... wonderful., posted December 25th, 2012
Yup., posted December 18th, 2012
New Year 'L' Blog, posted December 31st, 2011
I failed! And I have only just begun!, posted December 1st, 2011
"If you want to be Lonely, Follow these steps...", posted October 8th, 2011, 1 comment
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